Damn Pathetic

Good evening.
This is basically Kpop related post (again).

Okay, so I'm just here to say that Tao's leaving issue doesn't affect me at all. It's like- I didn't feel anything, I don't feel anything. I don't cry, I don't look happy. It's numb. I'm thinking about this alot. Maybe I don't cry because this is the 3rd time I've seen this same case all over again. 

Wuyifan leaves EXO.
"This is the beginning of EXO. Please believe. We are one."

Luhan leaves EXO.
"This is the beginning of EXO. Please believe. We are one."

Tao leaves EXO.
And now what are you gonna say to us? That this is the beginning of EXO and you tell us to believe? 

That's more like "we are one by one leaving." Haha. Because believe is such a strong word to use. Because your promise to stick until the end is just a matter of time, everything will change, everything is for the promotional's sake. But I can't blame you guys because everything comes with no warning. When it did, it just did. And I can't seem to leave you guys too. I've been watching you raise from the bottom and now you are on top with every awards inside your glass cupboard. I remember watching your first debut song MV and I was laughing because, "Wow, why the hell they call MAMA every single second?" I have watched you grow since 2012 and now you are already 3 years old. I'm proud.

I should have left you, and hate you.
Because you are always saying and acting that everything is fine. You always tell us fans not to worry about everything. I hate being a fan because I don't know every single thing happens inside that glorious SMent building. It's like you keep hiding something from us. I hate all of you for not being so open to us fans and I'm anxious. What if you just tell us lies. What if you are faking that smile because once again, it's for promotional's sake and for fanservice, they say. 

I should have left you, and hate you, because there are so many other Kpop bands out there that are more talented than you. But I can not.

I can't leave you, I can't abandon you for other Kpop bands. Everytime I'm listening to your songs, and watching all of your MVs, I fall in love again and again and this never ends. Repeat the cycle, that's how I do. Because you are EXO, the 1st group that I have stanned so long and the group I am dedicated myself to.

This sounds so pathetic hell yeah. But you will never feel how fans feel toward their idols if you are not a fan. 

I will end this post like this. I love EXO.

Update 150511

Listening to:  All songs in EXO's new mini album Exodus. I can't stop listening to El Dorado, Call Me Baby, Playboy, Lady Luck, but oh well those are basically my jams, damn. And for other bands........Baekhyun's Beautiful, BTS' I Need You, EXID's Up and Down, UNIQ's EOEO, and do not forget about Bigbang's Bae Bae because this song is just bae af!  

Watching: EXO Next Door. Oh man I'm sorry I have to warn you that I'm so into Kpop and EXO, so everything about me is basically EXO, EXO, and EXO, haha! But man, Sehun's acting in EXO Next Door is just so good he doesn't look like he's acting at all. It feels so...natural. Because Sehun is just cute like that, every cold exterior he keeps outside is just his setting, it's just a setting, I know it. You can't fool me. I love you Sehun.

Loving: My new Kpop group on line, it's called Siake Squad. Lol. Sekar, Vita, Kak Ciki, Aza, Salsa, Dhea are new definitions of friends before hoes. Congratulations for Vita because she gets accepted in UI, make way to French Literature student weh! And good luck for Sekar and Dhea, I hope you gays will be accepted in your future univ! B-)

Reading: Concerto Grosso, a fanfic made by somethingaboutsunday. Journalist!AU and Dancer!AU. Claps for the author. Such an amazing story. I'm so in love with fanfics, I don't do books. This is so bad because I should have read those international-theme-thingy books but I am so done with my mindset and my procrastinator soul. Yip yip.

Have been thinking to: EXO'luXion A LOT. Damn everything. How can I save money in such a little time? I have tried to save my money but it's so hard because I have weekly needs, too. Super Junior's SS6 concert sold the cheapest ticket under 1.400k and I'm just- I don't know- it's still expensive and I'm afraid if EXO'luXion ticket price will be so expensive too. Wow please, I want to meet EXO and I want to meet Siake Squad so bad. I want to wave the EXO lightstick together with other EXO-Ls. That must be so beautiful. I really want to see Sehun in person. What if I get bumped onto him when I go to toilet and he is sorry and then we take selcas together and- oh Nuha please get a hold of yourself.

Anticipating to: Insidious 3. Fathni and Afifah are asking me to watch it together in June. I'm so excited!

Sehun is so cute it hurts.